Dear Chili's,

I was in your local "friendly neighborhood bar and grill" last week picking up my bi-weekly, (ok, weekly), to-go quesadillas. I really have fallen back in love with some of your food. I broke up with you for awhile but I'm kind of addicted right now. Sometimes I get that amazing quesadilla explosion salad. What DO you put in that dressing?

I digress. Already.

As  I was standing there waiting in the to-go pick-up area, I looked down the aisle and noticed the place was decorated with pink and purple streamers. I looked around at the tables nearby and noticed a lot of little girls with tiaras on and pink goody bags in front of them.

"Cute", I thought. "Must be a birthday party".

But it looked a little too disjointed to be a party. The dead giveaway was the table of 6 guys in their late 20's sitting directly across the aisle from some of the said tiara-ed girls. Just didn't fit. But I couldn't quite figure out what was going on. There were a lot of iPhones being pulled out to take pictures and there was certainly a fair share of some annoyed looking dad faces.

Just when I decided to give up on figuring out this mystery and chalked it up to some princess-in-training camp, assuming the 20 year old guys were just misplaced, I hear the hostess say to a newly sat table "Oh, its father-daughter night here!", which was clearly in response to the new table's question about the pink explosion.

OHHHHHHHHH, ok. I got it. Still cute. But, now... I was irritated a bit, Chili's.

Let me say, I LOVE that your restaurant has hopped on the gravy train of marketing towards kids. Smart, very smart. I mean, what better way to increase sales by luring dads in with your fully stocked bar and boneless buffalo wings, all the while getting that adorable little girl of theirs to smile with a pink bag full of fake jewels and tiaras?! This might sound like sarcasm but I assure you it is not. I think its genius.

However, I was just curious, did it occur to your marketing department that some girls hate pink and princesses, and tiaras, and fake jewels?

This made me wonder, is there a mother-son night? Well, of course there is, (according to the to-go server)! Which, I can only assume is adorned with baseballs, blue/green streamers, and sports themed, blue goody bags. AMIRITE???

On both accounts, it seems you are limiting your market a bit. There are boys who don't care about sports and have the favorite color of pink, believe it or not.

My experience at your restaurant just perpetuated my annoyance for all of these gender stereotypes that are contributing to a larger cultural issue, but more specifically, these types of events that are sprinkled in pink for girls and splashed in blue for boys are part of the reason that my 5 year old daughter is getting picked on at school for her choices.

You see, my daughter is all boy. Her favorite color is blue, her favorite characters are the Ninja Turtles, she hates anything pink, she wears boy's clothes (mostly), and yes, even insists on boy's underwear. She would completely disapprove of this father-daughter weekly event that you host, Chili's, and I know that she is not alone. I realize that the population that I'm speaking about is a relatively small percentage...but is it really? Or, have we forced these standards down our throats so much that this is just what most kids adhere to?

I will admit, if my daughter conformed to more of the social norms of the female gender, perhaps I wouldn't give any of this a second thought. Totally might be the case, no doubt. But you know, my daughter has taught me so much and this is the biggest lesson so far: acceptance and understanding.

When companies like yours, (and many, many other companies), choose to "pink and blue identify", I promise that you're contributing to a bigger problem. A problem that perpetuates division, nonacceptance, bullying, and yes, even hatred.

Since I never like to complain without giving a viable solution, may I suggest a couple of options? Maybe consider hosting a catch-all "Kid's Night", complete with gender neutral goody bags that include a small reading book, a pencil, watercolor paints, and some stickers that say, "You're brilliant!", or something along those lines? Or, if you insist on keeping the genders separate, how about implementing the above goody bag suggestions? Lose the gender specific streamers, too.
Also? Please, as a friendly reminder, remember that some kids don't have dads or moms, which goes back to considering option number one mentioned above.

The internet is swarming with some outspoken parents, Chili's. Parents like myself that are speaking out for their kids. Wonderful kids who brave to blur the gender lines. Check them out:
My Son Wears Dresses and That's OK With Me: Seth Menachem
Ryland Whittington's Story of being a young transgender
When Gender Norms Didn't Work for My Kid: Erika Kleinman

So, in closing, please just consider my suggestions, Chili's. I would love for my daughter to see she is not so different after all. She is a girl who doesn't like pink. Please be a part of the change that  makes this ok for her and many others. I promise that it can only help your business. I know you will gain one little red-headed fan named Lily.

Thanks,
Mama in Sweaty Yoga Pants

PS~ McDonald's, I'm looking at you next. PLEASE stop making me choose a "boy or a girl toy" for a Happy Meal. Please just make it a TOY.

Be the change.